Nothing original here, no pride of authorship,  just a bit of pilot humor being passed along.

Some thoughts about flying ...



You can always tell when a man has lost his soul to flying. The poor
bastard is hopelessly committed to stopping whatever he is doing long
enough to look up and make sure the aircraft purring overhead continues
on course and does not suddenly fall out of the sky. It is also his
bound duty to watch every aircraft within view take off and land.



A man can criticize a pilot for flying into a mountainside in fog, but
I would rather by far die on a mountainside than in bed. What sort of
man would live where there is no daring? Is life itself so dear that we
should blame one for dying in adventure? Is there a better way to die?
- Charles A. Lindbergh


The most plausible scientific theory is that the rings of Saturn are
composed entirely of lost airline baggage.



An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex
was safe.



Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.



Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers &
helicopters -- in that order -- need two.'



There are only three things a copilot should ever say:



1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the ugly one!



There are only three things a wingman should ever say:



1. Two is up.
2. Lead you are on fire.
3. I'll take the fat chick.



As a pilot, only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will.



a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your
last flight.



b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is
your last flight.



There are Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by men who think
that they know how to fly your airplane better than you.



Laws (of Physics) are made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes
should, suspend the Rules but you can never suspend the Laws.



About Rules:



a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea
and the talent to execute it.



b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance.
(e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge).



Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot
is over are people who have never flown anything?



He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he
that demands one iota more is a fool.



A good pilot may sometimes be disappointed in his aircraft ... a good
pilot will never be surprised by his aircraft.



Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but
not for those who still are.



Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.



Forget all that stuff about lift, gravity, thrust and drag. An airplane
flies because of money. If God had meant man to fly, He'd have given
him more money.



I've flown in both pilot seats; can someone tell me why the other one
is always occupied by an idiot?



And, finally .....



Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and
becoming a pilot. You can't do both.