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Subject: Electrical Theory - by Joe Lucas
From: "Greenbacks, UnLtd." <N4ZQ@VERIZON.NET>
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Date: Fri, 22 Mar 2013 19:36:39 -0400
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Electrical Theory - by Joe Lucas

Positive ground (they meant "earth") depends on proper circuit =
functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of =
the visible spectral manifestation known as smoke.

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to =
be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical =
circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through =
empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a =
battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery =
shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping =
from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will =
also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is =
elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one =
device to another.=20

When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, =
nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for =
some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, =
requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more =
prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American =
counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, =
and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock =
absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British =
tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. =
Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in =
the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of =
electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph =
Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: A gentleman does not motor about after dark.=20

Joseph Lucas - The Prince of Darkness=20

A few Lucas quips:

The Lucas motto: Get home before dark.=20

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three =
switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.=20

Back in the '70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began =
manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered =
which did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?=20
A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
Q: Why don=92t the British build televisions?
A: Because they haven=92t figured a way to make them leak oil; not =
withstanding the smoke qualifier of course.

....truth be told, I am not the author....

Angier Ames
N4ZQ
15.6hrs and climbing