Message-ID: <019c01be1f3d$a631cbe0$95c295cf@bill>
From: "William T Bartlett" <wtbart@olympus.net>
To: "Ston Klippert" <stan@olypen.com>,
	"Paul Messinger" <paulm@tenforward.com>,
	<lancair.list@olsusa.com>,
	"John Ammeter" <ammeterj@seanet.com>,
	"Don Pridham" <dpridham@olympus.net>,
	"Carl Cleveland" <ccleve@tenforward.com>,
	"Bill \"Badwater\" Philips" <billphil@ix.netcom.com>,
	"Allen VanNess" <skipv@olympus.net>
Subject: Fw: AVIATION WISDOM
Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 19:29:01 -0800
Mime-Version: 1.0

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>Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid
>those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.
>
>Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane. Forget all that
>stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity; an airplane flies because of
>money. It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there
>wishing you were down here. An airplane will probably fly a little bit over
>gross but it sure won't fly without fuel.
>
>Think ahead of your airplane. I'd rather be lucky than good.
>
>The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot
>cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
>
>If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing
>lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn 'em
>back off.
>
>A check ride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but
>still be long enough to cover everything.
>
>Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.  No one has ever collided with
>the sky.
>
>Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.  Never
>let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes
>earlier.
>
>Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.  An airplane flies
>because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi.  Cessna pilots
>are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.
>
>If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick
>back they get smaller.
>
>Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.
>
>The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
>
>Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the first!
>
>Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from
>which you can walk away.  But very few know the definition of a 'great
>landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.
>
>The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
>
>IFR: I Follow Roads.
>
>You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.
>
>I had a fighter pilot's breakfast - two aspirin, a cup of coffee and a puke.
>
>Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.
>
>A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.
>
>A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and
>reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random
>in motion.
>
>Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth
>immediately repels them.
>
>Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?
>
>Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all
>of them yourself.
>
>Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty
>glass. Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway
>behind you. Fuel in the truck. A navigator. Half a second ago. Approach
>plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
>
>If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
>
>What's the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot.
>
>Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
>
>Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but
>not for one who still is.
>
>There are four ways to fly:  the right way, the wrong way, the company way
>and the captain's way.  Only one counts.
>
>A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.
>
>Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it
>thinks about dogs.
>
>Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.
>
>An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.
>
>Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
>Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.
>
>The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.
>
>Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.
>
>Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those
>trips.
>
>Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
>
>The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.
>
>Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun?
>
>Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?
>
>It's always cheaper to rent than to buy. Renting airplanes is like renting
>sex: It's difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday, the fun things
>always cost more, and someone's always looking at their watch.
>
>There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no
>one knows what they are.
>
>It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.
>
>Passengers prefer old captains and young stewardesses.
>
>The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot
>who once was a captain.
>
>Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.
>
>Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game is
>in the wrong game.
>
>It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
>
>If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough money for a
>Bonanza.
>
>If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an
>accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame it on pilot error.
>
>Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.
>
>A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside.
>It's worse.
>
>Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form.
>
>"Let's make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!"
>
>It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.
>
>A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and
>about flying when he's with a woman.
>
>A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.
>
>A thunderstorm is nature's way of saying, "Up yours."
>
>Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the tail -- the
>end does not justify his means.
>
>The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a
>gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.
>
>Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.  Keep looking around;
>there's always something you've missed.
>
>Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your
>takeoffs. Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.
>
>You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
>
>
>