Hi folks, not sure if you had seen this one, but it lightened up my day.  B.T.W., awesome pictures of the fly in!

 

Cheers

Doug

 

Quantas Airlines Gripes And Fixes:

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "GripeSheet" which tells Mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The Mechanics correct the problems,  document their repairs on the form, and then Pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.  Never letit be said that Ground Crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actualmaintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' Pilots and the solutionsrecorded by Maintenance Engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only majorairline that has never had an accident!

 

(P = The problem logged by thePilot, S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midgetpounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget