|
Chris,
A response in support of you in the time of your
grief.
I understand your pain - in time this pain will
subside, but the memories will always remain, so Charlie will live on in your
memory. It does not hurt for a grown man to cry in these circumstances. I shed a
tear just thinking about it.
Verbalizing is a strong coping mechanism, it's a
way for the mind to rationalize the thought process in times of
stress.
Just do your best in this painful
period.
George (down under)
As I have mentioned in the past, I consider you guys and gals
as friends. Due to this, and since I spoke of him on the list in the past, I
feel compelled to share my deep grief that my three month old son, Charles
"Charlie" David Barber passed away Thursday. He was visiting his grandmother
(since I was a single dad, she cared for him when I worked) who discovered his
lifeless body in his crib when she woke. It appears to be a case of SIDS. There
was no trauma and it will be weeks before the toxicology reports return.
Considering how much press it gets, you would be amazed at how really low the
SIDS rate is. Its rate has been cut in half since 1980. Currently about 2300
deaths in 4 million annual births in the US.
I did not realize this depth of sorrow was
possible. I do not mean to be a downer and I would prefer not to clog the list
with a lot of condolences as I know your thoughts are with me. I apologize to
those who do not feel this is the proper forum to share this, but since I
spoke of him here, I would be at a loss if someone innocently mentioned him
down the road and I had not shared the news. I am beside myself. The only time
I got to fill out paperwork that I was his "father" was on his death
certificate paperwork. This has changed me and I am going to miss my son and
the old me. I had so embraced my role as father and the word "son". He
is/was my only child.
Anyway, I think I may be trying to distract myself
(which so far has failed miserably) by working on my
project. Kinda hard to keep the tears out of the epoxy. I
actually didn't know I could sob. I have some questions about the
engine...actually Tracy's PSRU, and hope I am not thought crass
that I may be asking some soon. It is a coping mechanism.
Thank you for humoring a grieving father.
All the best,
Chris Barber
Houston
|